♫♥ΒЯіד┼ǎΝΨ ΓΫЙ οИ ВǚΖΖизт♥♫

Memento Mori.

"Maybe friendships aren’t meant to be saved, maybe we’re meant to spend a certain part of our lives with certain people then move on. But if that’s so, how come the move on part hasn’t come yet?"

I dont even know if you remember saying that. But I have it written on a cue card beside my bed.
That little piece of paper has brought me more hope then anything probably ever could.
I love you, and I miss you.

1) Are you really ready for 125 questions?
Ready as I'll ever be.

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
No. No regrets, no mistakes.

3) Do you believe in God?
I do.

4) Who did you last say "I love you" to?
Teagan, I believe.

5) Do you regret it?
  Of crouse not! I love her more then anything!

6) Have you ever been depressed?
  Here and there.

7) Have a best friend?
  tons. Its fantastic.

8) Are you a boy or a girl?
girl, thankyouverymuch.

9) What is your relationship status?
Taken by the lovliest.

10) How do you want to die?
PEacefully, knowing I've led a full and joyus life.

11) What did you last eat?
Mcdonalds fries.

12) Play any sports?
Baseball soccer hockey football lacrosse rugby volleyball badminton gymnastics borden ball kickball dodgeball tennis cross country etc. etc.

13) Do you bite your nails ?
mmmm....not really. I might chew on them when I'm thinking.

14) When was your last physical fight?
Ugh, I had a shovefight with arin and erin today :P

15) Do you have an attitude?
Definantly.

16) Do you like someone?
I do :)

17) What is your real name?
Brittany Lyn Cooper.

19) Are you gonna get high later?
Not tonight.

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
  There is only one person in the entire world that I will always hate.

21) Do you miss someone?
I miss alot of people. Half my friends are all over the freaking world.

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl.

23) Do you tan a lot?
No. I'm pale as ever.

24) Have any pets?
LE PUPPY<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

25) How exactly are you feeling?
Extremly happy.

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
duh.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
  no, actually.
I do have a friend that got pregnant in a bathroom, however. True story.

28) Would you take any of your exes back?
One of them, but we're pretty much best buddies right now, so.

29) Are you scared of spiders?
HOLYFUCKINGSHITYOUDONOTEVEN KNOW!

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
negative.
No regrets baybayyyyy.

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
  See above.

32) What are your plans for this weekend?
possibly hanging out with the boyfraaaand.

33) Do you want to have kids?
One day.

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with a C, E and D?
Yessir.

35) Do you type fast?
I do.

36) Do you have piercings? How many?
My ears. Industrial bar soon :D

37) Want any more?
  Nose, tounge, labret, teardrop, bellybutton, septum, web.

38) Can you spell well?
no.

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
yeah.

40) What are you craving right now?
nada. A hug, perhaps, from coby. Cause his hugs are fucking LEGENDARY. Seriously. Cuddle him.

41) Ever been to a bonfire party ?
yeahhhhh.

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
yeah, and it nearly freaking killed me!.

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
Do I look like Taylor Swift to you?
I'm an urban bitch, dude. I make out in nightclubs with guys that wear more makeup then me. ;)

45) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
yeah, and I STILL feel bad about it.

46) Have you ever been cheated on?
shut up.

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
I made him go for icecream....

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
yup.

50) What should you be doing ?
rehersing, for sure.

51) What's irritating you right now?
Pain in my neck (Literally) and this stupid mofo at school.

52) Have you ever liked someone?
Are you stupid?

53) Does somebody love you?
yeah :D

54) What is your favorite color ?
Red.

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
mhm. Many times.

57) Do you have trust issues?
sometimes.

59) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
Ive witnessed this event, but Ive never had to go that low.

60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
meh. sometimes.

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
I do. He tells me all the time.

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I dont cry. Sorry.

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
definantly.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
neither.

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
who knows? It isnt over yet!

67) What was your child hood nickname?
Coop, cooper, megamidget, little brittle, might midget, itty britty

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Nearly... ;)

69) Do you think you're a good person?
I think Im pretty okay sometimes.

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
yes.

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night ?
sneezed for like 10 minutes. It exhausted me.

73) What is bothering you?
this pain in my neck.

74) Do you like to be tickled?
I do.

75) Do you play the Wii?
YEAH! its so fun!

76) Are you listening to music right now?
I am.

77) Do you like Chinese food?
LOVE is more like it.

78) Do you know your fathers birthday?
July 18th.

79) Are you afraid of the dark?
not usually. Unless Im tripping out because SOMEBODY decides to chase me through the woods whilst I was piss drunk.

81) Are you mean?
sure, everybody is sometimes.

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
ffor like a week. Its hard when your city is pretty much made out of slush 6 months out of the year.

83) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal?
no?

84) Do you believe in true love?
No.

85) Are you proud of the person you've become?
Yes.

88) Do you like the outside?
I do.

89) Are you currently bored?
naww.

90) Do you wanna get married?
one day .

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
yes (L)

92) Are you hungry?
Nope, happily full.

93) Do you have a bank account?
No.

94) What makes you happy?
life.

95) Would you change your name?
no.

96) Ever been to Alaska?
nope.

98) Do you watch the news?
daily.

99) What' s your zodiac sign?
Leo. Rawr.

100) Do you like Subway?
YES!

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
No, Id love to.

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Is he attractive?

103) Do you talk like your friends?
no, I speak in shakespearian mixed with ghetto, and french,
Example: "Yo homes, come hither pour un moment,"
Seriously. I have said that exact phrase before.

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
indeed.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
all of them. I dont change for people.

107) Who is the last guy you talked to?
My father :)

108) where's the question ? ..

109) Do you go to church?
on christmas eve sometimes.

110)what's going on between you and your best friend?
We're a little distant, to be honest.

111) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
shit, most of my friends are guys and avoid such things. Hm.... maybe my sister?

113) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
I freaking LOVE THEMMMMMMMMM :D:D:D

114) What do you wear more: jeans, sweats, pants, or shorts?
jeans/sweats

115) You're a Sharpie marker, what color are you?
Red or lime green.

116) Where do you go if you are butt naked and locked out of your house?
Into my swimming pool.

117) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning?
At night. Its a wind down..

118) Have you ever said you'd never love again?
Maybe in so few words.

119) Do you want to please everyone?
  I strive for perfection in certain areas, yes.

120) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Yeah.

121) Has someone ever made you a promise & broken it?
DUH.
People suck.

122) Are you alone?
Nope! My puppy is here :)

123) Do you have any older siblings?
2

124) Did you speak to your father today?
Yeah.

125) How many months until your birthday?
6!

Holy fuck. It's been a while.

I haven't posted or commented anything in at least two months, if not more. You guys have gotten me through way too much to be treated that way. I apologize.

Due to certain relationships falling apart, I've been avoiding the keyboard, preferring to semi-vent my pent-up insanity surrounded by the creature comforts of the cave I call my bedroom. All whilst reading acid-inspired indie novels and getting my heart broken by a guy who completely gives a new definition of motherfuckingcocksuckingstupidlittleprick.

Ahh, teenaged angst.

I would like to take this short interval of time to say the following: Merry christmas, Happy new year, Happy birthday, Feel better, I'm here for you, and what a lovely photo.

There. Everything that should've been said, and everything I usually say.
To cut to the chase: I've been wrapping my head around things and settling in my skin a little better. I wont promise you that I'll  be around more often, because I wont. I can almost garuntee I'll be going AWOL again soon. Real life is just too fucked up to spend precious time with my ass in an uncomfortable fake leather chair staring into a screen. I do want you all to know however, that I think about many of you every day.
So please, contact me! I have a new email. brittanylyn@live.ca
Add me on msn, dorp me a line. Add me on facebook, because I manage to get on facebook daily. Brittany Lyn Cooper, search me up. Just send me a message letting me know who you are so I dont accidentally decline your friend request!

Keep up the good work, ladies and gentlemen.
I am still here. I am still listening. And I'm definantly still watching.

It's hard to care when you're not there.
And I realize now, you never have been.
Sure, it's seemed like it.
But your presence doesn't mean shit anymore.
All last night was spent on others trying to convince me that you aren't my fault.
But I conitnue to be your casualty.
And thats the way you want it.
I've always been the one left holding the bags.
I've covered all that I can.
I'm spread to thin to cover you anymore.
Paper thin skin, bright blue veins.
Mix with oxygen at will.
Not me. Not anymore.
I have played the heroine in every story you've ever told.
But you still made me feel like the villian, simply because you could.
Not anymore.
I'm taking a stand.
I refuse to fall to you or for you ever again.
I know I haven't always been perfect. I know I could've been better.
But the thing is, you couldn't have been worse.
How many phonecalls went unanswered, how many emails left to rot?
It's disgusting that you left our future to technology.
And maybe I should take some blame this time.
But I'm going to be selfish, and say no.
I refuse to let this fall on my shoulders.
Maybe I wasnt always there either.
But at least I pretended to give a shit.
You lied.
Everytime you said I love you, you lied.
Because you didn't. You couldn't have.
Because if you did, it wouldn't be like this now.
I tried to tell you so many times how I was feeling.
But you'd interrupt with what was wrong on your end.
So I forgot about myself and listened.
After a while, I'll admit I stopped caring sometimes.
But I still tried.
You just gave up.
My turn.
Now I'm giving up.
I won't let myself be treated like this anymore.
I'd like to shake the hand of thr person who told it to you straight.
I agree with every word they said.
I wish I had written it myself.
I really hope you read this.
Because maybe, you'll get it for once.
I'd say good luck in the future, but you don't have one.
So instead I'll say what I've wanted to say for a long, long time.
Fuck off.

trenchcoat and blue eyes
Scuffed shoes and grey skies
I want something more.

Halloween was awesome. Hung out until 4 in the a.m. in my best friend's basement with my new favourite people. Watched bad horror movies that were more about shower sex and how-many-ways-can-you-cut-off-a-persons-head then anything else. The trick-or-treaters that actually came to the door were adorable. Halloween is a dying art.
I went as Kat Von D and I cant get these stupid stick-on tattoos to come off. Le sigh.
Pictures and video soon :)

"Normaolity is conformity and conformity SUCKS."
Yesh, well. I conformed.
Follow me. http://twitter.com/brittanylyn
And tell my what yours is too so I can sta- I mean, follow, you too :)

I have the stupidest friends ever :)

Someone explain to me the micro mini skirt-and-Uggs ensemble I saw today.
IT WAS 1 DEGREES (Celsius, 34 in Farenheight for you americanos)
What. The. Hell.
There's Obsession. There's vanity. And then there's just fucking stupidity.
ONE, you look like a total douche in Uggs and a mini skirt. If it's cold enough for Uggs, its too damn cold for a mini skirt, you retard.
TWO, Uggs are made as WINTER BOOTS. Yes, I know they are made in Australia, but they are made to keep your feet warm. Do not pair them with something that barely covers your ass. Kthx :)
THREE, You look like an idiot. I mean really. Just dont do it.
and FOUR, Ugg(lies) are made of sheep(ies)
I was in jeans, a long sleeve, a trench coat, mittens, and a hat, and I was cold. so you can't tell me it wasnt cold outside. IT SNOWED yesterday for God's sake.
ITS TIME TO PUT AWAY THE MINI SKIRT.
Your ass will look just as big in jeans, I promise :)


I hate people. :)

a-ne-mi-a n.   A pathological deficiency in the oxygen-carrying component of the blood, measured in unit volume concentrations of hemoglobin, red blood cell volume, or red blood cell number. [New Latin, from Greek anaimiā : an-, without; see a-1 + haima, blood.] Low blood pressure. Insufficient Iron intake/absorbtion Vitamins. Bloodtests. Pills. Dietary restrictions. Dietary dictations. More bloodtests. ECG exams. More Bloodtests. Sweet.

that I don't need anyone to save me.
I saved myself today.
I stood tall, on my own two feet, and made it.
I couldn't be happier.

Go a way.
seriously. Lyke, zomg.
U may make me roflcopterz, but I needz mui beauooty sleeps.
izzle and such.
Bleh.

Thanksgiving this weekend, no school till tuesday. Hizzah.
I hate afterschool rehersals. hatehatehateHATE.
I have better things to do then sing stupid choir songs and tickle Andrew when he's not paying attention.
...
Okay, so maybe I dont mind the last part SO much :)
(I'm still winning, by the way. You grabbing my neck didn't count because you held my hands down first. so HA HA HA. :)
ahhhh, Im so tired. 18 days are finally catching up with me.
And my neck hurts. >:(
Goddamnit.

Title: I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
Pairing: Jacoby Shaddix/Halen Chiqua(Fictional character)
Rating: NC/17 (SEXUAL CONTENT, VULGAR LANGUAGE, IMPLIED VIOLENCE)
Chapter: One.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story except for the characters created from my imagination. I do not own Papa Roach or any of their lyrics, songs, or affiliations, no matter how hard I wish. I'll get over it someday.
Summary: Jacoby is finally home for a week, but will Halen's hidden secets remain hidden long enough?
Other comments: This is just an epilouge of sorts to get you informed and give you an idea of whats going on.


MONDAY


The dark alley behind the venue seemed like the perfect place to wait for him, until now. Now that she was alone, and it was late, and they were in Detroit, of all places. It didn't take a genius to know that a young girl standing alone, in the dark, in a cold alleyway late at night in Detroit was a bad idea. A very, bad idea.
And fuck, now she was realizing it.
Now that she was alone and scared.
She sighed, pulling her coat tighter around her. The show had ended about 40 minutes ago. She figured it would take him about 10 minutes to shower and change, 20 minutes to shake all the right hands, and another 10 to fight his way through fans and security to get back here. If she was right, he should be here about now.
Crunch.
The sound of the footstep behind her made her nearly jump out of her skin. She froze where she was.
"Jacoby?" She called out softly.
Crunch.
Warmth. She was wrapped up in a pair of colourful arms. Her head was tucked neatly under his chin, and she could hear his heartbeat, still excellerated from stage adrenelaine. She breathed a sigh of releif as his gloved fingers traced small, soothing circles on her lower back. She brought her hands up tp his face, thumbs resting on either side of his gorgeous eyes.
"Halen, you crazy fuck. It's 80 below and instead of waiting inside, where its warm and dry, you wait outside, in the snow, at 2 in the morning."
"You know me. I like a little adventure." He laughed and kissed her forehead, his small soul patch-esque beard tickling the skin. He took her hands between his and rubbed them together.
"Shit, you're freezing. Come on, I'll take you out. Are you hungry?" He asked as he pulled her out into the parking lot. He stopped for a second, before muttering a curse under his breath.
"I have my car here, no worries." She said, leading him towards her blue Honda Civic. She went to get in the driver's side, but Jacoby pulled her back by her belt. "What?"
"If you think I'm getting in a car with you behind the wheel after you've been at a show..." She rolled her eyes as he held his hand out for the keys.
"Jacoby, come on." She whined. He motioned for the keys again. She folded her arms over her chest. "Why can't you just trust me, for once?"
"I'll trust you when you give me a reason to. Keys, Halen." Jacoby insisted, his voice reflecting just how serious he was. She rolled her eyes again and tossed the keys at his chest. She stomped over to the passenger side and slammed the door. Jacoby ran his hands through his hair and sighed before stepping into the car. "Look, Halen-"
"Drive." Her eyes were staring straight ahead.
"Halen, don't-"
"Drive." She said again, glaring at him. He shook his head and pushed the keys into the ignition, reversing out of the parking lot and heading down a dark side street. They drove in silence until they reached a small mom-and-pop resteraunt with a neon sign screaming "24 hour breakfeast." Jacoby walked to the other side of the car to open her door, but she beat him to it and started making her way towards the resteraunt, without waiting for him. He hit the autolock and waited for the chirp before following her to a booth at the back. A waitress came over, all smiles and mini skirts to take their order. Most of her smiles, and a glimpse of what was under the mini skirt, was directed at Jacoby. Halen smiled as she ordered a coffee and took Jacoby's hand. The waitress looked crestfallen for a moment, but instantly plastered a less believeable smile onto her face as she asked how many sugers Halen took. She did the same for Jacoby, then sashayed away to the next table. "Fucking bitch. If she flashes you one more time I'll stick my fork up her ass." Halen hissed, glaring in the direction of the waitress. Jacoby laughed and brought Halen's hand up to his lips, lightly kissing each knuckle.
"You're feisty as fuck, you know that? I'm surprised I haven't had to save your ass."
"Yeah well. Keep treating me like I'm five and you'll have to save your own ass." Halen huffed, pulling her hand away. "I'm over all that shit, alright? That's the past. I'm better now, okay?" Jacoby surveyed her through seafoam eyes filled with suspicion.
"If you're 'over all that shit' why do you still have a bottle opener attatched to your keychain? Why was there a Smirnoff bottle cap in your bag yesterday? And why-" He leaned across the table and kissed her, forcing his tounge into her mouth and then pulling back, looking determined "- do you taste like alcohol?" He demanded, looking ferocious. Halen knew he meant business. Jacoby didn't play around when it came to her drinking.
"Alright, so I had ONE beer tonight during the show. And yes, I had a cooler the other day at Caity's and threw the cap into my bag because I wasn't near the garbage can. I still have the occasional drink. It's no big deal." She snapped. The argument died as the waitress delivered their coffee. As soon as she walked away, Jacoby put down his cup and gripped both Halen's hands again.
"Halen, it is a big deal. This is how it started the last time, remember?" Jacoby said softly. Oh yeah. Halen remembered alright.
"Jacoby, I appreciate your concern. but I assure you, I'm fine. I promise I wont drink the rest of the time you're here, okay?" She pleaded. Halen wasn't really interested in fighting right now. She hadn't seen Jacoby in 2 weeks, and had driven from her friend's house in Chatham, where she stayed when Jacoby was on tour, down to Detroit to meet up with him. She had been looking forward to spending a nice, relaxing week with him before he had to continue on tour. So far, it wasn't off to a good start.
"You promise me?" Jacoby said finally. Halen smiled.
"I promise. Now let's get out of here before I bash her face in." She said sweetly. Jacoby threw a ten onto the table and they excited the diner hand in hand. Halen turned around and gleefully saw the waitress scowling and slamming dishes off her tray onto the table of her other customers, who looked slightly bemused. Halen hopped into the passenger seat without complaint and waited for Jacoby to pull out onto the road before she hit the volume button with her thumb, causing the radio to spring to life.
"One two three, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine!" She sang along, drumming her fingers against the dashboard. Jacoby looked over at her and grinned before shaking his head and joining in. The song finished with a rousing drum solo, and they both burst out laughing.
"Alright, where to?" Jacoby asked as their laughter subsided. Halen ran a hand through her straight black hair, letting it fall back into place. What she really wanted to say was 'To a bar.' but she knew that was beyond out of the question. Her best hope of making it through this week as painless-and hopefully slightly intoxicated- as possible was to wrap Jacoby around her little finger as soon as she could.
"Well, I have a hotel room already..." She trailed off, knowing she had just kicked his imagination into full gear. She placed her hand on his thigh, the rough deniem scratching at her fingertips. He looked at her sideways, the star beside his left eye twitching slightly as he raised his eyebrow. She pretended to look away, sliding her fingers a little further up as she examined herself in the side mirror. Standing at 5"6 with her grey eyes, pale skin and dark hair, she knew she was pretty. That little bit of confidence paired with her curvey, toned body, playfully shy manner and an IQ that matched her Quantem Physic professor father and Brain surgeon mother, she was definantly considered a catch. She had chosen a different route from her straight arrow parents, playing bass in a number of underground grunge bands while working full time as an Alternative Model for companies such as Hot Topic, Skelanimals, HollyDolly and Emily the Strange. She had an array of tattoos, from the brass knuckles on her hips to the Jack and Sally tattoo on her shoulder. But by far, her favourite (as well as Jacoby's) was the dragon that started on her left foot and wound its way up her entire body, finally coming to an end with its head on her right shoulder. It was in full colour, all the scale detail work taking a total of 279 hours to complete. She didn't even want to think about how much it had cost, but damn, was it worth it.
Jacoby was the peanut to her butter. 5"9 and covered head to toe (literally) in ink, they were a match made in Hell's Angels heaven. With his blue-black spikey hair, punk-as-fuck hardcore attitude, and stunning good looks, he was the object of many's affection. Not to mention he was the lead singer and frontman of one of the biggest bands on today's rock scene. The two of them had hit it off backstage at a Rage Against The Machine concert 10 years ago and had been close ever since. It had taken Jacoby 6 years to finally gather the courage to ask Halen out, much the the amusement of both their friends. They were on-again-off again at first, but had been pretty solid the last few years.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Jacoby spoke in a low, gravelly voice. He took Halen's hand and placed it in his lap, tangling their fingers together. He followed the directions she gave him, and finally pulled into a parking spot outside the Howard Johnson. She slid the room key from her back pocket and gave it to him as they made their way through the lobby and into a deserted elevator. Halen wrapped her arms around Jacoby's waist, putting her hands in his back pockets. He looked down at her with an amused look on his face. Very, very rarely was Halen foreward when it came to sex. She was shy as hell, especially in public places such as this. Jacoby never figured out how she managed to become a model, or get into as many fights as she did with such a demenor. The doors chimed as they opened to floor 18. Halen placed a chaste kiss on Jacoby's cheek before hurrying down the hall towards their room. He followed suit and slid the keycard into the door as quickly as he could. As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Jacoby tossed off his shirt and scooped Halen up, placing her on the bed. He hovered over her, his hands on either side of her head. His eyes searched her face for some sort of permission. She reached up and gripped the back of his head, fingers entwining in his hair. They kissed softly at first, then intensifyingly, adding tounge. Jacoby moaned as Halen nibbled his bottom lip, He pulled away and kissed a trail down her neck to the top of her shirt. "Well, this needs to go." He whispered. He yanked the tank top over her head, then continued his way down her body. She gasped as he nipped the sensitive area below her navel before looping his fingers into the waistband of her pants and sliding them slowly off her legs to reveal lacey hot pink bootie shorts. He kissed her through the fabric, smiling to himself as he heard her breath quicken. He pulled the underwear down to his ankles with his teeth, moving his head back up and kissing her inner thighs as she kicked them off. He nibbled her hips before moving back down between her legs. He looked up at her for a moment before kissing her clit. He kissed all the way around before placing his tounge between her lips and licking slowly. She gasped, and he started to push his tounge in deeper. He went faster as she dragged her nails down his back. Her movements became jerkier, her breath growing more ragged. Jacoby knew she was close. He pulled away for a moment and brought his hand up to Halen's plush lips. She parted them, and he slid his middle finger between. His eyes drank in the sight of her suckling on his finger. Once he figured it was lubricated enough, he moved back down and inserted his finger into her, sliding it back and fourth and punctuating the momements with little licks of his tounge.
"Fuck Coby, I'm so fucking close." Halen whined. She felt Jacoby vacate her nether regions and took the oppurtunity to catch her breath, only to have it taken away again when he pushed his cock hilt deep into her.  They found a rythm, moving together as one. Halen felt the tightening in her groin with each thrust. "Jacoby...." She breathed.
"I'm almost there too." Jacoby whispered, his movements becoming frenzied. Halen wrapped her legs around his waist, and the new angle was enough to send the both of them over the edge. Jacoby bit into Halen's neck as she screamed out. It took them a few minutes before they came back down to earth. Jacoby pulled out and kissed Halen roughy on the lips.
"God." Halen muttered when she could speak again.
"Shit, I knew I was good, but I didn't think I was that good!" Jacoby teased, brushing Halen bangs off her forehead. "You look so hot covered in my sweat."
"You're so gross!" Halen laughed, smacking Jacoby's bare chest. She got up and slid Jacoby's big, baggy tshirt over her petite frame. It came down to flow just above her knees as she walked to the bathroom.
"Why are you covering up?" Jacoby asked, leaning back into the pillows. Halen pulled her hair up into a tight bun on the top of her head.
"It's called getting dressed. It's something you usually do after sex." She called, bobby pining her bangs back.
"Not me. I'm staying au natural." Jacoby grinned, pulling the comforter off to reveil himself again. Halen walked back into the room and slid into bed beside him.
"Then don't expect any cuddling or anything. 'Cause if you get excited again and it pokes me or something in the middle of the night, I'm cutting it off." Halen warned, turning away form him. Grudgingly, he got up and threw his boxers back on. "Thats better." Halen smiled, laying her head on his chest. As they both drifted off to sleep, she couldn't help but think what was in the mini bar on the other side of the room.




this is just an epilouge of sorts. Actual story and such to come :)

I do I do :)
Today was fantastic. I had the most fun ever.
Please dont ever go away.
AND MY NEW SHIRT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A PAJAMA TOP ASSFACE :)
but I love you anyways, cause you're the peanut to my butter.
And I'm going to be the cheese to your macaroni, I promise.
(even if I cant spell.)

Try taking your own advice, you selfish prick.
Do you even remember saying that to me?
"I love you, but I'm in love with her."
And thats fine.
But dont you dare lie to me like that ever again.
I love you still. But I hate what you've become.
I miss the fuck out of you.
What happened?
I understand you've grown up and become a "better" person, and I wouldn't ever begrudge you that. I'm ecstatic that your life is finally where you want it to be.
But after today, how can you keep lying to yourself?
This isnt you.
I know you.
I know you miss your mohawk and your lip peircings and your Rancid shirts and your black eyeliner and your custom chopper.
Because you may be in love with her, but you're forgetting that you were in love with me first.
"You are and always will be my first love. You'll always have a part of me."
You dont even know how true that is, do you?
I know you better then she could ever dream of.
So I dont care if you want to lie to the world.
But quit lying to me, and quit lying to yourself.
She loves you, so why do you feel the need to try so hard?
I truely am happy for you babe. I'm so excited to see you grow.
But you're trying to fit a mould thats too small for you.
Please stop trying to contort yourself to keep them all happy. You're too beautiful to fall into that trap.
Heres the deal:
Forget my name until you remember yours.

personal update blog? Why yes, yes it is.

So. Basically, nothing is new with me, really. I've been reading my way through the Maryvale Library, keeping up with schoolwork, and writing a shitload.
I'm really glad I decided to stick it out at Wexford. I had the opportunity to leave and was seriously considering it, but I stayed and couldn't be happier.
I've also been sketching alot lately. Mostly odd little cartonny fellows.
(You hold more inspiration then you know.)
The Industrial Bar has been okayed, and will be shoved through my ear in december.
This will be my first "Unnatural" peircing, so I'm a little nervous.
Luckily it's going to hurt like a bitch, so I wont be compelled to take it out.
Reinjured my foot today, possibly rebroke it but you never know. It's brusing pretty bad again.
Note: ALWAYS CAST BROKEN THINGS. I didn't cast my foot and its been giving me greif from day one.
But I'm extremely stubborn, so I'm still not casting it.
(HA HA HA. I STILL WIN.)
Teagan has grown so much, shes so beautiful.
Oh yeah, and I'm in love.
So all in all, life's going fantastic.

Unarmed and underequipped to deal with this.

I shall not mention names as I do not want controversy in such troubled times. But I would like to say I think its completely revolting that a memeber of this website posted a journal about what has happened to Travis Barker, DJ AM, Barker's body gaurd, and his manager, and one of the comments received stated "Who cares about the bodygaurd and manager. As long as Travis is okay and can still drum! I'm looking forward to seeing plus 44 on tour. if trav isnt there itll be a waste of money!"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

Two innocent people died in horrific circumstances. Two others are fighting for their LIVES. And all you give a shit about is whether or not Travis will be ready to roll for tour?
You are not a fan. You are not a blink 182 fan, or a +44 fan, or a Travis fan.
Because if you were, you would be a better person. You would not be such a disgusting example of a life form.
If you were, you would know that Travis is not the only one suffering through this.
You would know that he is so distraught that two of his close friends have passed away that touring is probobly the last thing on his mind.
Both Travis and DJ AM are still in critical condition, but thankfully are both expected to make a full recovery.
You have just joined the list of people I truely hate. Congrats. You've finally made the A-List.
I am deleting you off my friends list. If you dont delete and apologize for the comment, and if I ever hear from you again, I shall hack your myspace, facebook, AND buzznet accounts so ruthlessly you will never be able to make another account on any three of those sites again.
Don't think I can? Try me.
Such an insensitive person should not be aloud to enjoy themselves.

The body gaurd and manager are dead. My thoughts and prayers go out to both of their families. It is a terrible thing to lose a loved one, especially so suddenly.

Im in love with the idea that they're could be an "Us", but I hate you too much right now.

The night curls towards the earth.
Yards of lacy ribbon, blanketing the sky
smothering the dawn.
An eon old battle, eternally tied.
Banned footsteps shatter the well earned silence
Gales of laughter, caused by the latest inside joke
lift spirits skyward.
The inkling of mischeif on the horizon hurries the footfalls,
urging them onwards.
Time is stolen as half forgotten rules are
left in the dust of innocence.
Friendships are forged on rusting playgrounds,
others are broken along with hearts and curfews.
Tanned hands clutch the latest communication,
calling others to the chase as memories are made in basement bedrooms
in the arms of those who will soon be best left forgotten.
The sweet taste of freedom starts to sour
as the clock causes them all to tempt fate
rushes excuses whispered behind hands, then a parting of ways
heartbeats quicken as the moment of truth approaches.
A quick, quiet dash down a darkened hallway ensures temporary safety.
Clothes are changed, makeup is removed, and beds are occupied.
As dawn breaks, evening the score,
minds are finally put to rest,
capturing and collecting the thoughts whirring inside them to allow sleep.
As daylight starts to shine,  overpowering night,
One world is starting, another is being erased.
Tomorrow, with the flickering of a streetlamp
springing into life
we will be united once more.
Until we meet again, summer night.